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WAHOO GAZETTE LATE SHOW staffer Mike McIntee gives you a daily show summary and the behind-the-scenes lowdown with his daily Wahoo Gazette. So much juicy inside information that you'll say "Wahoo!"
THE WAHOO GAZETTE ARCHIVE Mike McIntee's popular Wahoo Gazette is archived here in the aptly- named Wahoo Gazette Archive. You can search by date, keyword, or show number, or even Dave's tie pattern (coming June 2012).
THE WAHOO GAZETTE ARCHIVE Mike McIntee's popular Wahoo Gazette is archived here in the aptly- named Wahoo Gazette Archive. You can search by date, keyword, or show number, or even Dave's tie pattern (coming June 2012).
Donald Trump; and Dwayne Kennedy.
PLUS: Late Show Olympic Preview; the demise of a key Al Qaeda operative; Great Moments in Presidential Speeches; Late Show Fun Facts; and Will It Float: Rooftop Edition.
" . . . and now, unlicensed amateur dentist . . . . . . David Letterman."
ACT 1:
It's time now for the Late Show Olympic Preview: Music . . . art card . . . . more music . . . . . and that's all we have so far.
I imagine we can expect more of the same at the Conventions.
Al-Qaeda has confirmed the death of one of their top commanders. They announced the news to their members with this message
Announce:
"We here at al-Qaeda are saddened to report the death of our brother, Abu Khaba al-Masri. A collection and condolence card will be passed around the office for his wife, Iris. So, when the intern comes around asking for money, please don't pretend you left your wallet in your car. This means you, Gabe.
Also, if anyone is interested in applying for Abu Khabab's position, please submit your resume to Janice by the close of business Wednesday.
Thank you, and don't forget we're playing softball against Sunglass Hut tonight after work.
Al-Qaeda . . . it's all-righta!"
I liked the tagline.
One of the great literary figures of the 20th century has passed away at the age of 89, and so we decided to put together this tribute, "The Legacy of Alexander Solzhenitsyn."
Announce:
"1962: publishes novel 'One Day in the Life of Ivan Denisovich.'
1973 to 1978: publishes the three-part history, 'The Gulag Archipelago.'
1997: publishes paperback novel 'Slut Beach.'"
"Slut Beach" - in the fiction or non-fiction?
GREAT MOMENTS IN PRESIDENTIAL SPEECHES:
We see the President on stage in a Q&A session at some industry with an audience of company citizenry. The President says, "Got a lot of people working here, and if so, how many you got?" The person he is talking to is a bit confused. The President then barks in what sounds like impatient annoyance, 'How many people you got working here?"
ACT 2:
LATE SHOW FUN FACTS - keep room in your Christmas stocking.
ACT 3:
During the commercial break, Felicia Collins sings Aretha Franklin's "Baby, I Love You." I always find it risky to sing anything by Aretha. To me, everyone pales in comparison, but Felicia performed magnificently, to the point I got my chubby lazy body out of my chair and into the audience for a close-up listen.
DONALD TRUMP
Mr. Trump enters. I immediately notice his orange tie is just a bit longer than it should be. I mention to Property Master Pat Farmer to have a scissor ready, just in case. But none is needed. There is no mention of Trump's long tie. I'm sure it's from the Trump line.
Dave asks Donald about his kids, and he says they are all doing fine; all good kids. From what I've seen of the Trump kids on various programs, they do seem polite, respectful, smart, and with a sense of humor. Say what you want of Mr. Trump, he and the kids' mom did a fine job in raising their children.
The Donald is always wheeling and dealing, always looking for a good deal. Trump recently sold a house in Palm Beach to a Russian guy for $100 million. Trump bought it for $40 million. That's a nice turn-around. With that much of a mark-up, it sounds like Donald bought it as a fixer-upper. It's amazing what a coat of paint and a trimmed lawn will bring in.
How is the real estate market? It's lousy, but it's still pretty good here in New York City. He doesn't understand why we are paying billions to build up Iraq when that money should be going to build New Orleans back up. Too much money is going out instead of being spent on the infrastructure right here at home. He sizes up the current Administration; "We have had horrible leadership, the worst we ever had . . . . and we're not respected across the world anymore."
Dave asks about Abu Dhabi and Trump talks about how hot Dubai is right now. Everywhere you look, things are being built. There is a lot of money being spent. And everything is done quick. Here in New York you have to fight through so much red tape to get anything done. Although Dave is interested in what The Donald has to say about Dubia, what Dave really wants to talk about is Abu Dhabi, simply because Abu Dhabi is a lot more fun to say. Both are part of the United Arab Emirates, or as I call it, "over there."
Everything in Dubai is new; they now have political stability; growth is tremendous; and Trump calls it the new cultural artistic capital of the world. But is there booze? Donald says they do have some. Dave says, "Well, you can't have a great city without liquor." What? No booze? In that case, you can keep your indoor ski resort.
What's happening in Scotland? Trump wants to build the world's greatest golf course resort. But he's run into a bit of a problem with a local who refuses to sell his plot of land. Trump says the piece of property isn't necessary and will build around it. But there is such natural beauty in Scotland. Why would you want to tinker and alter and change that? Trump promises that he would make it nicer than it is now. Did you hear that, God? Dave would prefer that Donald just leave it alone, or make it into a state-owned park and leave it as it is, allowing the world to enjoy the great beauty that is Scotland. Sounds good, but where is the money in that?
ACT 5:
Announce: "Monday on the Late Show, Dave is joined by Will Smith and baseball announcer Joe Buck. The Late Show! Man, I could go for some tacos!
We'll be right back."
ACT 6:
WILL IT FLOAT? ROOFTOP EDITION
Tonight's item: a box of dishwashing powder.
Container: a cardboard box.
More specific? Wax-treated cardboard.
Brand: Cascade.
Paul says it will sink
Dave says it will float.
The models up on the roof of the Ed Sullivan Theater Office Building drop the box of Cascade Dishwashing Powder into the Will It Float tank and it . . . . . . FLOATS!
But will it remain afloat? Dave says we will revisit the Will It Float tank later in the show for an update.
ACT 7:
Coming back from commercial, we find the box of Cascade sitting at the bottom of the Will It Float tank. Final answer: It sinks, eventually.
DWAYNE KENNEDY: You can see him perform regularly at Zanie's Comedy Club in Chicago, Illinois. He says we may be on the verge of a black President. Wow! How angry must the country be at Bush if we are willing to elect a black President?! Obama has raised $300 million in his campaign. Dwayne says if he raised $300 million, "my campaign would be over." I know exactly what he means.
Come to think of it, anybody who can raise $300 million shouldn't be President; they should go into Sales.
And that was our show for Friday, August 8, 2008.
I was flipping through a magazine the other day and came across an ad for cosmetic giant "L'Oreal" featuring a lovely photo of Nicole Kidman . I later found out it wasn't Nicole, but Beyonce. How could I make such a mistake?
I like watching the Bill O'Reilly show. There's something about his know-it-all pomposity that makes me giggle. And I always like to keep in mind the phone sex scandal and sexual harassment suit against him that was settled out of court. It adds to the enjoyment of watching the cocky and smug broadcaster.
And that's a memo.
WHOA!!! You mean to tell me that next week Elvis will have been dead 31 years?? That is, of course, if he really is dead.
The campaign has gone on for so long it's now approaching the "I don't care anymore" level. Has your wife ever ask you about curtains or a paint color for the bathroom? After going over and over and over it, you finally blurt, "I don't care! Just pick one! Either one is fine!" Well, this election is getting there. It's really just getting stupid now. And we still have the conventions and the debates and all those commercials to go through. Yipes. And after all this, millions will vote for either one simply because he seems like a good guy.
It's August, and like psychiatrists, we'll be going away for awhile. When we return, we'll have a new batch of Olympic heroes. Who will they be?
MONDAY, August 11: From June 23; #2946 - Will Smith; and Joe Buck
TUESDAY, August 12: From July 16; #2953 - Maggie Gyllenhaal; Neil Young; The Hold Steady; and Andy Kindler
WEDNESDAY, August 13: From June 24; #2947 - Charlize Theron; Richard Belzer; and Motley Crue
THURSDAY, August 14: From July 15; #2952 - Meryl Streep; Aaron Eckhart; Randy Travis; and Derek Jeter with a top ten list.
FRIDAY, August 15: From June 12; #2939 - Sir Ben Kingsley; Artie Lange; Emmylou Harris; and Billy Crystal stops by.
MONDAY, August 18: From July 24; #2959 - Toy Demo with Shannon Eis; David Duchovny; and Black Kids
TUESDAY, August 19: From May 12; #2921 - Stupid Pet Tricks; Shia LaBeouf; and N.E.R.D.
WEDNESDAY, August 20: From July 29; #2962 - Kevin Costner; Bob Sarlatte; and Low vs Diamond.
THURSDAY, August 21: From July 21; #2956 - Will Ferrell; Mythbusters Adam Savage and Jamie Hyneman
FRIDAY, August 22: From June 18; #2943 - Boston Celtics Kevin Garnett and Ray Allen; Jane Krakowski; and Martha Wainwright.
Check the Wahoo Archives and make your plans accordingly.
you low-ridin' punks.
CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER
It's their 25th wedding anniversary on August 20th, from Ottawa, Canada and still getting it done, it's Trevor and Kathy Johnston.
This concludes another installment of CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER
Donald Trump; and Dwayne Kennedy.
PLUS: Late Show Olympic Preview; the demise of a key Al Qaeda operative; Great Moments in Presidential Speeches; Late Show Fun Facts; and Will It Float: Rooftop Edition.
" . . . and now, unlicensed amateur dentist . . . . . . David Letterman."
ACT 1:
It's time now for the Late Show Olympic Preview: Music . . . art card . . . . more music . . . . . and that's all we have so far.
I imagine we can expect more of the same at the Conventions.
Al-Qaeda has confirmed the death of one of their top commanders. They announced the news to their members with this message
Announce:
"We here at al-Qaeda are saddened to report the death of our brother, Abu Khaba al-Masri. A collection and condolence card will be passed around the office for his wife, Iris. So, when the intern comes around asking for money, please don't pretend you left your wallet in your car. This means you, Gabe.
Also, if anyone is interested in applying for Abu Khabab's position, please submit your resume to Janice by the close of business Wednesday.
Thank you, and don't forget we're playing softball against Sunglass Hut tonight after work.
Al-Qaeda . . . it's all-righta!"
I liked the tagline.
One of the great literary figures of the 20th century has passed away at the age of 89, and so we decided to put together this tribute, "The Legacy of Alexander Solzhenitsyn."
Announce:
"1962: publishes novel 'One Day in the Life of Ivan Denisovich.'
1973 to 1978: publishes the three-part history, 'The Gulag Archipelago.'
1997: publishes paperback novel 'Slut Beach.'"
"Slut Beach" - in the fiction or non-fiction?
GREAT MOMENTS IN PRESIDENTIAL SPEECHES:
We see the President on stage in a Q&A session at some industry with an audience of company citizenry. The President says, "Got a lot of people working here, and if so, how many you got?" The person he is talking to is a bit confused. The President then barks in what sounds like impatient annoyance, 'How many people you got working here?"
ACT 2:
LATE SHOW FUN FACTS - keep room in your Christmas stocking.
ACT 3:
During the commercial break, Felicia Collins sings Aretha Franklin's "Baby, I Love You." I always find it risky to sing anything by Aretha. To me, everyone pales in comparison, but Felicia performed magnificently, to the point I got my chubby lazy body out of my chair and into the audience for a close-up listen.
DONALD TRUMP
Mr. Trump enters. I immediately notice his orange tie is just a bit longer than it should be. I mention to Property Master Pat Farmer to have a scissor ready, just in case. But none is needed. There is no mention of Trump's long tie. I'm sure it's from the Trump line.
Dave asks Donald about his kids, and he says they are all doing fine; all good kids. From what I've seen of the Trump kids on various programs, they do seem polite, respectful, smart, and with a sense of humor. Say what you want of Mr. Trump, he and the kids' mom did a fine job in raising their children.
The Donald is always wheeling and dealing, always looking for a good deal. Trump recently sold a house in Palm Beach to a Russian guy for $100 million. Trump bought it for $40 million. That's a nice turn-around. With that much of a mark-up, it sounds like Donald bought it as a fixer-upper. It's amazing what a coat of paint and a trimmed lawn will bring in.
How is the real estate market? It's lousy, but it's still pretty good here in New York City. He doesn't understand why we are paying billions to build up Iraq when that money should be going to build New Orleans back up. Too much money is going out instead of being spent on the infrastructure right here at home. He sizes up the current Administration; "We have had horrible leadership, the worst we ever had . . . . and we're not respected across the world anymore."
Dave asks about Abu Dhabi and Trump talks about how hot Dubai is right now. Everywhere you look, things are being built. There is a lot of money being spent. And everything is done quick. Here in New York you have to fight through so much red tape to get anything done. Although Dave is interested in what The Donald has to say about Dubia, what Dave really wants to talk about is Abu Dhabi, simply because Abu Dhabi is a lot more fun to say. Both are part of the United Arab Emirates, or as I call it, "over there."
Everything in Dubai is new; they now have political stability; growth is tremendous; and Trump calls it the new cultural artistic capital of the world. But is there booze? Donald says they do have some. Dave says, "Well, you can't have a great city without liquor." What? No booze? In that case, you can keep your indoor ski resort.
What's happening in Scotland? Trump wants to build the world's greatest golf course resort. But he's run into a bit of a problem with a local who refuses to sell his plot of land. Trump says the piece of property isn't necessary and will build around it. But there is such natural beauty in Scotland. Why would you want to tinker and alter and change that? Trump promises that he would make it nicer than it is now. Did you hear that, God? Dave would prefer that Donald just leave it alone, or make it into a state-owned park and leave it as it is, allowing the world to enjoy the great beauty that is Scotland. Sounds good, but where is the money in that?
ACT 5:
Announce: "Monday on the Late Show, Dave is joined by Will Smith and baseball announcer Joe Buck. The Late Show! Man, I could go for some tacos!
We'll be right back."
ACT 6:
WILL IT FLOAT? ROOFTOP EDITION
Tonight's item: a box of dishwashing powder.
Container: a cardboard box.
More specific? Wax-treated cardboard.
Brand: Cascade.
Paul says it will sink
Dave says it will float.
The models up on the roof of the Ed Sullivan Theater Office Building drop the box of Cascade Dishwashing Powder into the Will It Float tank and it . . . . . . FLOATS!
But will it remain afloat? Dave says we will revisit the Will It Float tank later in the show for an update.
ACT 7:
Coming back from commercial, we find the box of Cascade sitting at the bottom of the Will It Float tank. Final answer: It sinks, eventually.
DWAYNE KENNEDY: You can see him perform regularly at Zanie's Comedy Club in Chicago, Illinois. He says we may be on the verge of a black President. Wow! How angry must the country be at Bush if we are willing to elect a black President?! Obama has raised $300 million in his campaign. Dwayne says if he raised $300 million, "my campaign would be over." I know exactly what he means.
Come to think of it, anybody who can raise $300 million shouldn't be President; they should go into Sales.
And that was our show for Friday, August 8, 2008.
I was flipping through a magazine the other day and came across an ad for cosmetic giant "L'Oreal" featuring a lovely photo of Nicole Kidman . I later found out it wasn't Nicole, but Beyonce. How could I make such a mistake?
I like watching the Bill O'Reilly show. There's something about his know-it-all pomposity that makes me giggle. And I always like to keep in mind the phone sex scandal and sexual harassment suit against him that was settled out of court. It adds to the enjoyment of watching the cocky and smug broadcaster.
And that's a memo.
WHOA!!! You mean to tell me that next week Elvis will have been dead 31 years?? That is, of course, if he really is dead.
The campaign has gone on for so long it's now approaching the "I don't care anymore" level. Has your wife ever ask you about curtains or a paint color for the bathroom? After going over and over and over it, you finally blurt, "I don't care! Just pick one! Either one is fine!" Well, this election is getting there. It's really just getting stupid now. And we still have the conventions and the debates and all those commercials to go through. Yipes. And after all this, millions will vote for either one simply because he seems like a good guy.
It's August, and like psychiatrists, we'll be going away for awhile. When we return, we'll have a new batch of Olympic heroes. Who will they be?
MONDAY, August 11: From June 23; #2946 - Will Smith; and Joe Buck
TUESDAY, August 12: From July 16; #2953 - Maggie Gyllenhaal; Neil Young; The Hold Steady; and Andy Kindler
WEDNESDAY, August 13: From June 24; #2947 - Charlize Theron; Richard Belzer; and Motley Crue
THURSDAY, August 14: From July 15; #2952 - Meryl Streep; Aaron Eckhart; Randy Travis; and Derek Jeter with a top ten list.
FRIDAY, August 15: From June 12; #2939 - Sir Ben Kingsley; Artie Lange; Emmylou Harris; and Billy Crystal stops by.
MONDAY, August 18: From July 24; #2959 - Toy Demo with Shannon Eis; David Duchovny; and Black Kids
TUESDAY, August 19: From May 12; #2921 - Stupid Pet Tricks; Shia LaBeouf; and N.E.R.D.
WEDNESDAY, August 20: From July 29; #2962 - Kevin Costner; Bob Sarlatte; and Low vs Diamond.
THURSDAY, August 21: From July 21; #2956 - Will Ferrell; Mythbusters Adam Savage and Jamie Hyneman
FRIDAY, August 22: From June 18; #2943 - Boston Celtics Kevin Garnett and Ray Allen; Jane Krakowski; and Martha Wainwright.
Check the Wahoo Archives and make your plans accordingly.
you low-ridin' punks.
CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER
It's their 25th wedding anniversary on August 20th, from Ottawa, Canada and still getting it done, it's Trevor and Kathy Johnston.
This concludes another installment of CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER
ACT 1 • Show Open • Dave's Monologue Watch now • Late Show Olympic Preview • Al-Qaeda...It's All-Righta! • The Legacy of Alexander Solzhenitsyn • Great Moments in Presidential Speeches
