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WAHOO GAZETTE LATE SHOW staffer Mike McIntee gives you a daily show summary and the behind-the-scenes lowdown with his daily Wahoo Gazette. So much juicy inside information that you'll say "Wahoo!"
THE WAHOO GAZETTE ARCHIVE Mike McIntee's popular Wahoo Gazette is archived here in the aptly- named Wahoo Gazette Archive. You can search by date, keyword, or show number, or even Dave's tie pattern (coming June 2012).
THE WAHOO GAZETTE ARCHIVE Mike McIntee's popular Wahoo Gazette is archived here in the aptly- named Wahoo Gazette Archive. You can search by date, keyword, or show number, or even Dave's tie pattern (coming June 2012).
Robin Williams; and Julie Chen. PLUS:Con Edison; the Paris Hilton interview; the Reagan Diaries; Great Moments in Presidential Speeches; Alan Kalter’s Celebrity Interview; Small Town News; and Not Ready For Our Show.
“. . .and now, the man to see for new or used farm implements. . . . David Letterman!”
ACT 1
It seems like whenever the temperature in New York goes over 75, Con Edison shuts down. It happened again yesterday. We watch this report. Announce: “Yesterday afternoon, Manhattan was hit with a brief power outage. Con Edison would like to apologize; we actually intended for this blackout to occur a couple of hours later, so you wouldn’t have to see this . . .” (cut to clip of Paris Hilton on Larry King Live.) “Con Ed --- On it!”
And now something we tried in rehearsal that we thought was not ready for our show. We go to the videotape. We see Biff at the desk playing Dave. He is billboarding the night’s program. In walks George Clarke in boxers and a T-Shirt. He puts a fan on the desk, turns it on, and stands in front of it. Biff says, “Excuse me, George. We have a show to do.” George replies, “Whaddya want from me? I’m sweatin’ my nuts off here.” Biff mumbles, “Well, do it someplace else.” George exits angrily.
It wasn’t quite up to our level of satisfaction to put on our program.
And now it’s time for something we call, “Inaccuracies in the Paris Hilton Interview.” Did you watch the Larry King Live show last night with Paris Hilton? Well, it wasn’t on the money. There were some inaccuracies. Such as:
- “I read a lot of books”
- “I’m not a big drinker. I’m really not into it.”
- Larry: “You’ve never taken drugs?” Paris: “No.”
- Larry: “Were you strip-searched? Do they do that in jail?” Paris: “They do, they do it in any jail. It was the most humiliating experience of my life.”
- Paris: “I never had to do that, you know, doing that in front of someone you don’t even know.”
- and there were more of these. Unfortunately I was too busy to keep score.
The Reagan Diaries: we’ve been highlighting passages form Ronald Reagan’s personal diaries for the past few weeks now. Here is tonight’s installment. Announce:“February 15, 1987. Delivered my weekly radio address this morning. I laid out my economic plan, spelled out my strategy for winning the Cold War, and judges a nude lesbian dating game with my sidekicks Robin and Baba-Booey. This has been an excerpt from the Reagan Diaries.
And now something that really wasn’t ready for tonight’s program. We see a videotape from rehearsal. Biff is at the desk playing the role of Dave. Barbara Gaines, our executive producer, enters like George Clarke did earlier, but she is fully clothed.
She puts a fan on the desk, turns it on, and stands in front of it. Biff says, “Excuse me, George. We have a show to do.” Barbara replies, “Whaddya want from me? I’m sweatin’ my nuts off here.” Biff mumbles, “Well, do it someplace else.”
GREAT MOMENTS IN PRESIDENTIAL SPEECHES: We see FDR. We see JFK. We see George W. Bush talking sternly about car bombers . . . and then a fly lands on his forehead.
ACT 2
If you wonder what Dave does during commercial breaks, well, we have a clip. We see Dave and writer Bill Scheft and our warmup comedian Eddie Brill enjoying a plateful of ribs.
Hey, it’s Thursday and you know what that means: Small Town News.
*THE LIMON LEADER (LIMON, COLORADO): “EVELYN BROUGHT THIS ENORMOUS MUSHROOM INTO THE OFFICE THE OTHER DAY. EVELYN RECOMMENDED NOT EATING IT AS SHE FOUND IT NEXT TO A PILE OF COW DUNG.”
*THE MEADVILLE TRIBUNE (MEADVILLE, PENNSYLVANIA): “A 33 YEAR OLD AND HIS BROTHER, 29, ARGUED OVER WHAT TO GET THEIR MOTHER FOR MOTHER’S DAY AND THE 33 YEAR OLD PUNCHED HIS YOUNGER BROTHER SEVERAL TIMES.”
For the files: Dave re-enacts the scene of the brothers in a fist fight.
*THE GREEN BAY PRESS-GAZETTE (GREEN BAY, WISCONSIN): ON THE “SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENTS” PAGE, “OUR NEW MONKEY.”
*THE CUBA FREE PRESS (CUBA, MISSOURI): “FUN FOR THE WHOLE FAMILY AT THE CITY MUSEUM. CHECK OUT CITY MUSEUM’S COLLECTION OF VINTAGE (WORKING) SHOELACE MACHINES.”
*THE MOUSE RIVER JOURNAL (TOWNER, NORTH DAKOTA): A PROFILE OF HONOR STUDENT AARON ESQUIBEL: “HIS MOST MEMORABLE MOMENT IS RAMPING ZACH’S CAR OFF A GRAVEL ROAD INTO A TELEPHONE POLE.”
*THE PENNSBORO NEWS (PENNSBORO, WEST VIRGINIA): “DENNY NELSON IS “THE BIGGEST LOSER.” TAKING PART IN THE “ELLENBORO EXTREME MAKEOVER: WEIGHT EDITION,” NELSON LOST 17 POUNDS. AS HIS PRIZE, NELSON EARNED AN EIGHT-PACK OF REESE’S PEANUT BUTTER CUPS.”
Some more boxing from Dave.
* THE NEWS-DEMOCRAT (WAVERLY, TENNESSEE): “THIS MOTHER’S DAY, MAKE YARD CARE EASY” (ad for lawn care equipment w/photo of woman using leaf blower).
No response from the audience. Hmm, perhaps yard work is something fun for Mother’s Day.
*THE DAILY INTERLAKE (KALISPELL, MONTANA): “NUDE SKYDIVER INJURED WHEN HE LANDS OFF TARGET.”
And that is Small Town News, the Thursday edition.
ACT 3 TOP TEN: Signs Paris Hilton is a Changed Woman 7. No more pretending to be sober, now pretending to be religious 6. Proceeds from future sex videos go to the Boys and Girls Clubs of America 5. Has started dating Shecky
ROBIN WILLIAMS: As always, Dave introduces Mr. Williams and then can sit back for the next 10 minutes. Robin talks about man breasts; the Liberation of Paris; Larry King and Paris Hilton; what he would have liked to see Larry say to Paris; and playing soccer in the summer as a kid with a German coach. It was tough playing soccer in the upper Midwest as a kid. The fields were always dried out and rough. In fact, it was so dry that his parents had to make their own water. They’d take hydrogen and oxygen and smash them together to make water. Remember when I wondered if it was possible to make water? Why can’t we just make water in the desert? I was told by many why not.
Robin has recently become a baseball fan, thanks to his buddy Billy Crystal. In fact, I saw them both on the TV at a recent Giants/Yankees game. Robin admits to turning into RainMan while on the field before the game. He was asking Billy all sorts of question all about the game and the surroundings. They got to see old man Clemens pitch against old man Bonds. The great confrontation ended with a . . . . walk. He says Barry’s head is so big from the “suspected” steroid use that he looks like he belongs in a Mardi Gras parade.
Robin stars in the new film, “”License to Wed,” opening July 3rd.
ACT 5 Announce: “It’s time for ‘Your Local Weather.’”
Extremely quick shot of the USA Today weather map of the United States.
Announce; “This has been ‘Your Local Weather.’”
ACT 6
It’s a favorite segment of ours . . . it’s ALAN KALTER’S CELEBRITY INTERVIEW.
We cut to Alan who is none too happy. Alan: “You think this is funny? You actually think this is funny, don’t you?” Dave: “I’m sorry. I have no idea what you’re talking about, Alan.” Alan (mocking Dave): “I have no idea what you’re talking about, Alan. Oh, save it, suckbag. You’ve known for weeks who tonight’s guest was for ‘Alan Kalter’s Celebrity Interview.’ Here, let me introduce him: Mr. Robin Williams?”
(camera widens to reveal Robin Williams sitting next to Alan)
“Look familiar, moron? Or maybe you can’t see because your glasses are still fogged up from having your head up his ‘givl’ing ass for the past ten minutes. Oooh, Robin, you’re so funny! Ooh, Robin, you’re my hero. I thought I was gonna need a bucket!” DAVE: “Alan, that’s not exactly how the interview went.” ALAN: “Oh, that’s exactly how it went. Final warning: pull this crap one more time and I’ll punch your teeth down your throat. (turns to Robin Williams) Same goes for you, ‘sdd’hole.”
Alan exits with anger in his eyes. Robin Williams sees an open microphone and can’t resist. He hops on it and starts a belligerent rant towards Dave in Spanish. Dave has seen enough and throws to commercial.
ACT 7 JULIE CHEN: She’s the host of the CBS reality show, “Big Brother 8.” Julie enjoys extravagant vacation journeys but suffers terrible motion sickness. She never goes without “the patch.” She was recently on a trip with a lot of kids who were not prepared to battle the sea sickness. She shared her patches. One of the kids kept the patch on all week. Not supposed to. A week of the patch will make one loopy.
Dave wonders about the show, “Big Brother.” He’s under the impression that it involves felons and thugs who are forced to live together. Julie laughs it off and says that it only happened one time.
This year in “Big Brother 8,” there’s a twist. One of the houseguests will be known as “America’s Player.” Unbeknownst to the rest of the House, home viewers will decide how this player should behave week by week. And a new word has been created for the possibility of an on show romance: “Showmance.” For years, I lived a life of “Nomance.”
“Big Brother 8” – it’s on 3 times a week starting July 5th on the Tiffany Network.
And that was our show for June 28, 2007.
Here’s a colossal waste of money. From Wednesday’s USA Today: “A study published in the July issue of ‘Alcoholism: Clinical and Experimental Research’ found the later their classes start on Friday, the more college students drank on Thursday nights.”
I really need to get into the research business. If people are willing to pay money for someone to “discover” this information, boy oh boy, sign me up.
Actually, I think the reasoning is backwards. Those who drink will make a schedule with late Friday classes. Late Friday classes do not create heavy drinking on Thursdays. Heavy drinking on Thursdays creates the decision to schedule late classes on Friday. Didn’t the professors who conducted this study ever go to college? Students do these things. Heck, when I went to college I created a class schedule that would allow me to watch the Gong Show every day at 1:00 PM..
I need something to be explained: I read this headline the other day: “Scalping Now Legal In New York”
This article followed:
“New York Gov. Eliot Spitzer today signed a bill that removes all caps on what brokers and others can charge to resell tickets to events in the state, but the bill also prohibits New York sports teams from canceling the season tickets of fans who resell them.
Sponsored by state Assemblyman Joseph Morelle of Rochester, the bill was designed to thwart the New York Yankees and other teams from punishing season ticket holders for reselling their tickets. The Yankees want to control the secondary market for its tickets and strictly prohibits any resale. The team is creating a ticket exchange website where season ticket holders are authorized to resell their unused tickets. . .”
Here’s what I don’t get. The Yankees can’t charge $500 for a seat in the last row at Yankee Stadium. They would get blasted at such a ridiculous price. It would be terrible for public relations. But what’s to prevent them from selling all those upper level tickets to themselves under a phony name and company, something like “Ticket Ticket Ticket”? (If there is an actual ticket agent called, “Ticket Ticket Ticket,” I don’t mean you. I just made up a name.) Now, Ticket Ticket Ticket can sell the seat for $500 and the Yankees don’t get the blame. But in reality, it IS the Yankees. The Yankees could scalp their own tickets; never even put them on the market from their own ticket booth. They’ll get the huge markup without the fallout. And it looks like this new ruling is coming just in time for the final season at Yankee Stadium, when demand for the ducats will be high all season and for seasons to come at the new Stadium starting in 2009. This of course is true with the Mets as well. Can someone explain why this won’t happen?
I’m watching one of those sports list shows on TV, something like the Top 50 Moments in Baseball History. On the list was Roger Maris hitting his record-breaking 61st home run in 1961. He hit the homer and ran the bases with his head down, just as he did for the 60 home runs before it. When he got to the dugout, his teammates had to push him out back onto the field to take a curtain call. You can see him being forced out of the dugout and his standing out there on the field embarrassed by all the attention.
Next on the list, we jump ahead three-and-a-half decades. It’s Mark McGwire hitting home run number 62 to break Roger Maris’ record. Mark has to go back to first base to touch it because he was celebrating his achievement while running the bases. Players on the opposing team shake his hand as he rounds the bases. The game is stopped. A big ceremony gets in the way of the rest of the game. It’s all a big production; big noise; big publicity; lots of lights; lots of cameras. Ugh. I liked how Maris did it. Low key. That’s how life was back when TV was in black and white.
*And now, even more useless information from “The Ultimate Book of Useless Information” by Neil Botham & The Useless Information Society.
- a pig always sleeps on its right side
- the world’s pig population is approximately 857,100,000
- A pig’s orgasm lasts 30 minutes (and that explains the 857,100,000 pigs)
- 12 or cows are known as a flink
- a snail can sleep for three years
And so ends another issue of the Wahoo Gazette, the world’s longest continuous-running blog on the internet . . . . I think.
CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER
He’s got an inflamed prostate that needs fixing, it’s Gary Wren.
This concludes another installment of CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER
Robin Williams; and Julie Chen. PLUS:Con Edison; the Paris Hilton interview; the Reagan Diaries; Great Moments in Presidential Speeches; Alan Kalter’s Celebrity Interview; Small Town News; and Not Ready For Our Show.
“. . .and now, the man to see for new or used farm implements. . . . David Letterman!”
ACT 1
It seems like whenever the temperature in New York goes over 75, Con Edison shuts down. It happened again yesterday. We watch this report. Announce: “Yesterday afternoon, Manhattan was hit with a brief power outage. Con Edison would like to apologize; we actually intended for this blackout to occur a couple of hours later, so you wouldn’t have to see this . . .” (cut to clip of Paris Hilton on Larry King Live.) “Con Ed --- On it!”
And now something we tried in rehearsal that we thought was not ready for our show. We go to the videotape. We see Biff at the desk playing Dave. He is billboarding the night’s program. In walks George Clarke in boxers and a T-Shirt. He puts a fan on the desk, turns it on, and stands in front of it. Biff says, “Excuse me, George. We have a show to do.” George replies, “Whaddya want from me? I’m sweatin’ my nuts off here.” Biff mumbles, “Well, do it someplace else.” George exits angrily.
It wasn’t quite up to our level of satisfaction to put on our program.
And now it’s time for something we call, “Inaccuracies in the Paris Hilton Interview.” Did you watch the Larry King Live show last night with Paris Hilton? Well, it wasn’t on the money. There were some inaccuracies. Such as:
- “I read a lot of books”
- “I’m not a big drinker. I’m really not into it.”
- Larry: “You’ve never taken drugs?” Paris: “No.”
- Larry: “Were you strip-searched? Do they do that in jail?” Paris: “They do, they do it in any jail. It was the most humiliating experience of my life.”
- Paris: “I never had to do that, you know, doing that in front of someone you don’t even know.”
- and there were more of these. Unfortunately I was too busy to keep score.
The Reagan Diaries: we’ve been highlighting passages form Ronald Reagan’s personal diaries for the past few weeks now. Here is tonight’s installment. Announce:“February 15, 1987. Delivered my weekly radio address this morning. I laid out my economic plan, spelled out my strategy for winning the Cold War, and judges a nude lesbian dating game with my sidekicks Robin and Baba-Booey. This has been an excerpt from the Reagan Diaries.
And now something that really wasn’t ready for tonight’s program. We see a videotape from rehearsal. Biff is at the desk playing the role of Dave. Barbara Gaines, our executive producer, enters like George Clarke did earlier, but she is fully clothed.
She puts a fan on the desk, turns it on, and stands in front of it. Biff says, “Excuse me, George. We have a show to do.” Barbara replies, “Whaddya want from me? I’m sweatin’ my nuts off here.” Biff mumbles, “Well, do it someplace else.”
GREAT MOMENTS IN PRESIDENTIAL SPEECHES: We see FDR. We see JFK. We see George W. Bush talking sternly about car bombers . . . and then a fly lands on his forehead.
ACT 2
If you wonder what Dave does during commercial breaks, well, we have a clip. We see Dave and writer Bill Scheft and our warmup comedian Eddie Brill enjoying a plateful of ribs.
Hey, it’s Thursday and you know what that means: Small Town News.
*THE LIMON LEADER (LIMON, COLORADO): “EVELYN BROUGHT THIS ENORMOUS MUSHROOM INTO THE OFFICE THE OTHER DAY. EVELYN RECOMMENDED NOT EATING IT AS SHE FOUND IT NEXT TO A PILE OF COW DUNG.”
*THE MEADVILLE TRIBUNE (MEADVILLE, PENNSYLVANIA): “A 33 YEAR OLD AND HIS BROTHER, 29, ARGUED OVER WHAT TO GET THEIR MOTHER FOR MOTHER’S DAY AND THE 33 YEAR OLD PUNCHED HIS YOUNGER BROTHER SEVERAL TIMES.”
For the files: Dave re-enacts the scene of the brothers in a fist fight.
*THE GREEN BAY PRESS-GAZETTE (GREEN BAY, WISCONSIN): ON THE “SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENTS” PAGE, “OUR NEW MONKEY.”
*THE CUBA FREE PRESS (CUBA, MISSOURI): “FUN FOR THE WHOLE FAMILY AT THE CITY MUSEUM. CHECK OUT CITY MUSEUM’S COLLECTION OF VINTAGE (WORKING) SHOELACE MACHINES.”
*THE MOUSE RIVER JOURNAL (TOWNER, NORTH DAKOTA): A PROFILE OF HONOR STUDENT AARON ESQUIBEL: “HIS MOST MEMORABLE MOMENT IS RAMPING ZACH’S CAR OFF A GRAVEL ROAD INTO A TELEPHONE POLE.”
*THE PENNSBORO NEWS (PENNSBORO, WEST VIRGINIA): “DENNY NELSON IS “THE BIGGEST LOSER.” TAKING PART IN THE “ELLENBORO EXTREME MAKEOVER: WEIGHT EDITION,” NELSON LOST 17 POUNDS. AS HIS PRIZE, NELSON EARNED AN EIGHT-PACK OF REESE’S PEANUT BUTTER CUPS.”
Some more boxing from Dave.
* THE NEWS-DEMOCRAT (WAVERLY, TENNESSEE): “THIS MOTHER’S DAY, MAKE YARD CARE EASY” (ad for lawn care equipment w/photo of woman using leaf blower).
No response from the audience. Hmm, perhaps yard work is something fun for Mother’s Day.
*THE DAILY INTERLAKE (KALISPELL, MONTANA): “NUDE SKYDIVER INJURED WHEN HE LANDS OFF TARGET.”
And that is Small Town News, the Thursday edition.
ACT 3 TOP TEN: Signs Paris Hilton is a Changed Woman 7. No more pretending to be sober, now pretending to be religious 6. Proceeds from future sex videos go to the Boys and Girls Clubs of America 5. Has started dating Shecky
ROBIN WILLIAMS: As always, Dave introduces Mr. Williams and then can sit back for the next 10 minutes. Robin talks about man breasts; the Liberation of Paris; Larry King and Paris Hilton; what he would have liked to see Larry say to Paris; and playing soccer in the summer as a kid with a German coach. It was tough playing soccer in the upper Midwest as a kid. The fields were always dried out and rough. In fact, it was so dry that his parents had to make their own water. They’d take hydrogen and oxygen and smash them together to make water. Remember when I wondered if it was possible to make water? Why can’t we just make water in the desert? I was told by many why not.
Robin has recently become a baseball fan, thanks to his buddy Billy Crystal. In fact, I saw them both on the TV at a recent Giants/Yankees game. Robin admits to turning into RainMan while on the field before the game. He was asking Billy all sorts of question all about the game and the surroundings. They got to see old man Clemens pitch against old man Bonds. The great confrontation ended with a . . . . walk. He says Barry’s head is so big from the “suspected” steroid use that he looks like he belongs in a Mardi Gras parade.
Robin stars in the new film, “”License to Wed,” opening July 3rd.
ACT 5 Announce: “It’s time for ‘Your Local Weather.’”
Extremely quick shot of the USA Today weather map of the United States.
Announce; “This has been ‘Your Local Weather.’”
ACT 6
It’s a favorite segment of ours . . . it’s ALAN KALTER’S CELEBRITY INTERVIEW.
We cut to Alan who is none too happy. Alan: “You think this is funny? You actually think this is funny, don’t you?” Dave: “I’m sorry. I have no idea what you’re talking about, Alan.” Alan (mocking Dave): “I have no idea what you’re talking about, Alan. Oh, save it, suckbag. You’ve known for weeks who tonight’s guest was for ‘Alan Kalter’s Celebrity Interview.’ Here, let me introduce him: Mr. Robin Williams?”
(camera widens to reveal Robin Williams sitting next to Alan)
“Look familiar, moron? Or maybe you can’t see because your glasses are still fogged up from having your head up his ‘givl’ing ass for the past ten minutes. Oooh, Robin, you’re so funny! Ooh, Robin, you’re my hero. I thought I was gonna need a bucket!” DAVE: “Alan, that’s not exactly how the interview went.” ALAN: “Oh, that’s exactly how it went. Final warning: pull this crap one more time and I’ll punch your teeth down your throat. (turns to Robin Williams) Same goes for you, ‘sdd’hole.”
Alan exits with anger in his eyes. Robin Williams sees an open microphone and can’t resist. He hops on it and starts a belligerent rant towards Dave in Spanish. Dave has seen enough and throws to commercial.
ACT 7 JULIE CHEN: She’s the host of the CBS reality show, “Big Brother 8.” Julie enjoys extravagant vacation journeys but suffers terrible motion sickness. She never goes without “the patch.” She was recently on a trip with a lot of kids who were not prepared to battle the sea sickness. She shared her patches. One of the kids kept the patch on all week. Not supposed to. A week of the patch will make one loopy.
Dave wonders about the show, “Big Brother.” He’s under the impression that it involves felons and thugs who are forced to live together. Julie laughs it off and says that it only happened one time.
This year in “Big Brother 8,” there’s a twist. One of the houseguests will be known as “America’s Player.” Unbeknownst to the rest of the House, home viewers will decide how this player should behave week by week. And a new word has been created for the possibility of an on show romance: “Showmance.” For years, I lived a life of “Nomance.”
“Big Brother 8” – it’s on 3 times a week starting July 5th on the Tiffany Network.
And that was our show for June 28, 2007.
Here’s a colossal waste of money. From Wednesday’s USA Today: “A study published in the July issue of ‘Alcoholism: Clinical and Experimental Research’ found the later their classes start on Friday, the more college students drank on Thursday nights.”
I really need to get into the research business. If people are willing to pay money for someone to “discover” this information, boy oh boy, sign me up.
Actually, I think the reasoning is backwards. Those who drink will make a schedule with late Friday classes. Late Friday classes do not create heavy drinking on Thursdays. Heavy drinking on Thursdays creates the decision to schedule late classes on Friday. Didn’t the professors who conducted this study ever go to college? Students do these things. Heck, when I went to college I created a class schedule that would allow me to watch the Gong Show every day at 1:00 PM..
I need something to be explained: I read this headline the other day: “Scalping Now Legal In New York”
This article followed:
“New York Gov. Eliot Spitzer today signed a bill that removes all caps on what brokers and others can charge to resell tickets to events in the state, but the bill also prohibits New York sports teams from canceling the season tickets of fans who resell them.
Sponsored by state Assemblyman Joseph Morelle of Rochester, the bill was designed to thwart the New York Yankees and other teams from punishing season ticket holders for reselling their tickets. The Yankees want to control the secondary market for its tickets and strictly prohibits any resale. The team is creating a ticket exchange website where season ticket holders are authorized to resell their unused tickets. . .”
Here’s what I don’t get. The Yankees can’t charge $500 for a seat in the last row at Yankee Stadium. They would get blasted at such a ridiculous price. It would be terrible for public relations. But what’s to prevent them from selling all those upper level tickets to themselves under a phony name and company, something like “Ticket Ticket Ticket”? (If there is an actual ticket agent called, “Ticket Ticket Ticket,” I don’t mean you. I just made up a name.) Now, Ticket Ticket Ticket can sell the seat for $500 and the Yankees don’t get the blame. But in reality, it IS the Yankees. The Yankees could scalp their own tickets; never even put them on the market from their own ticket booth. They’ll get the huge markup without the fallout. And it looks like this new ruling is coming just in time for the final season at Yankee Stadium, when demand for the ducats will be high all season and for seasons to come at the new Stadium starting in 2009. This of course is true with the Mets as well. Can someone explain why this won’t happen?
I’m watching one of those sports list shows on TV, something like the Top 50 Moments in Baseball History. On the list was Roger Maris hitting his record-breaking 61st home run in 1961. He hit the homer and ran the bases with his head down, just as he did for the 60 home runs before it. When he got to the dugout, his teammates had to push him out back onto the field to take a curtain call. You can see him being forced out of the dugout and his standing out there on the field embarrassed by all the attention.
Next on the list, we jump ahead three-and-a-half decades. It’s Mark McGwire hitting home run number 62 to break Roger Maris’ record. Mark has to go back to first base to touch it because he was celebrating his achievement while running the bases. Players on the opposing team shake his hand as he rounds the bases. The game is stopped. A big ceremony gets in the way of the rest of the game. It’s all a big production; big noise; big publicity; lots of lights; lots of cameras. Ugh. I liked how Maris did it. Low key. That’s how life was back when TV was in black and white.
*And now, even more useless information from “The Ultimate Book of Useless Information” by Neil Botham & The Useless Information Society.
- a pig always sleeps on its right side
- the world’s pig population is approximately 857,100,000
- A pig’s orgasm lasts 30 minutes (and that explains the 857,100,000 pigs)
- 12 or cows are known as a flink
- a snail can sleep for three years
And so ends another issue of the Wahoo Gazette, the world’s longest continuous-running blog on the internet . . . . I think.
CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER
He’s got an inflamed prostate that needs fixing, it’s Gary Wren.
This concludes another installment of CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER
ACT 1 • Show Open • Dave's Monologue Watch now • George Clarke Interrupts to Cool Off • Innacuracies in the Paris Hilton Interview • The Reagan Diaries • Barbara Gaines at Rehearsal • Great Moments in Presidential Speeches
ACT 2 • Dave, Bill Scheft & Eddie Brill Eating Ribs During Commercial • Small Town News
ACT 3 • Top Ten Signs Paris Hilton is a Changed Womn Read now
