". . . . and now, your flight attendant for the next five hours . . . . . . . David Letterman!"

ACT 1
Dave tells a monologue joke and mutters afterwards, "Yeah, that was worth starting over for." Dave came out, told a joke or two, messed one up, and then walked backstage to restart the show anew. This happens maybe twice a year.

Sitting at the desk, Dave utters the word "anticipatation." It's not a word but it sort of sounds like one. He almost got it past the audience but a few chuckled and so Dave went back to admit he mistakenly said "anticipatation." I thought he was just doing a Bo Dietl impersonation.

Are you folks enjoying this season of "American Idol"? The show's enormous success has really attracted a bunch of fantastic musicians. We watch the promo.
Announcer:

"Things are really heating up on 'American Idol.' Last week, Jennifer Lopez took the stage during Latin theme week. Tonight, the contestants belt out country hits with the help of celebrity mentor Martina McBride. And tune in next week for political favorites with guest mentor Dennis Kucinich."
The clip cuts to Dennis Kucinich singing "16 Tons."
"'American Idol' - only on FOX."

"This week, Iran celebrated the one-year anniversary of its nuclear program. What does that mean for the world? Who knows? What that mean for Iranians? (suddenly upbeat) Huge savings on name brand washers and dryers. Car stereos! Air conditioners! And more at P.C. Ahmadinejad and Son's Nuclear Day Electronics Blowout. Come on down to one of Iran's 4 P.C. Ahmadinejad and Son locations. In Tehran, Mashhad, Tabriz, and Far Rockaway. P.C Ahmadinejad and Son. These prices won't last long, so drop whatever you're doing and ride on down today!"

Tuesday was the tax filing deadline, which prompted this interesting announcement from the IRS. Announcer:

"The IRS would like to thank all Americans who filed their taxes on time. And since by now the majority of your tax filing questions have been answered, for just $2.99 a minute our operators are standing by to provide you with hot, steamy, erotic chat. The IRS. It's on, baby."

-(model and red sports car) It's a good bet that:
A) she's getting a lot of attention from the guys
B) she gets a lot of work as a model
C) parts of her were made by Goodyear

-(kids at steering wheel) Auto show attendees were fortunate to see:
A) the all-new Corvette convertible
B) the latest hybrid technology
C) celebrities, like Tom Cruise

-(large man eating) Many auto show visitors mistook this man for:
A) an automotive journalist
B) a mechanic
C) an air bag

-(dancing Geico lizard) This performer wishes:
A) it was time for his break
B) he was allowed to talk to the kids
C) the costume had been cleaned since the last auto show

Says Dave, "Nice boyfriend." He said this last night, too. I still don't know what it means.

-(capsule/drive simulator) A popular attraction was this machine that simulates:
A) an off-road excursion
B) a winding mountain pass
C) a typical New York City taxi ride

-(guy in hairpiece) The man in the center's favorite thing about driving is:
A) the freedom of the road
B) enjoying the passing scenery
C) feeling the wind in this hairpiece

-(older couple talking to saleswoman) Among the questions asked the saleswoman was:
A) "Does it have all-wheel drive?"
B) "Are anti-lock brakes standard?"
C) "Is there room in the back for 'Getting' it on'?"

-(moving engine display) The technological innovations in this engine are also used to power:
A) Jets
B) Motorboats
C) Dick Cheney's heart

-(man talking to woman in leather) It's safe to assume that this man has:
A) a question about the 2008 Dodge Ram
B) a keen interest in pickup trucks
C) no chance

-(little kid in driver's seat) Passersby were heard to remark:
A) "The auto show is a great family event"
B) "Children love to pretend"
C) "I guess Britney had another kid"

We heard quite a few offerings of Michael Martin Murphey's "Wild Fire." Dave's favorite line: "we're gonna leave sodbustin' behind"

But what does "Sodbustin" mean?

ACT 3
On Wildfire we'll ride
we're gonna leave sodbustin' behind
Get these hard times right on out
Of our minds riding Wildfire...

'Sodbustin' - means farming. A sodbuster is a farmer.

TOP TEN: Signs Your NBA Referee Is Nuts - The NBA suspended referee Joey Crawford after he challenged San Antonio Spurs' Tim Duncan to a fight. In the same game, Joey Crawford called a technical foul against Duncan for laughing.
And if you can't laugh . . . then the terrorist have won.
#2. Allows players extra free throw if they give him a cigarette.

EDIE FALCO: of HBOs "The Sopranos" - Sunday nights at 9:00 P.M. After 6 seasons, the Sopranos is nearing its end. What will we see in the final episode? What will happen? It's already been shot but Edie ain't saying. She admits she cried a lot, though. She usually keeps her emotions in check but she couldn't help it. And even some of the tough guys showed their sentimental side.
Were there a lot of parties to mark the end of the show? Edie says she used to love to party back in the day. In fact, she liked to party a bit too much but gave up drinking about 15 years ago. But it got to be tiring to go out all the time. She knew things were getting bad when she found it more fun to stay IN by herself and drink than to go out and drink.
She remembers one unfortunate incident when she crawled home late at night/early in the morning. She lived in a 5th floor walk-up. She remembers having a terrible time getting the key to unlock the door. After several minutes, she realized she was trying to open the door to the roof. That was the last call.
But really, what is going to happen in this the final season of "The Sopranos"? Can't Edie tells us just a little? Just a tidbit of information? How about it? Just then, a sandbag drops suddenly onto Dave's desk, missing him by inches. Hmmm. Maybe Dave should cut this line of questioning. I think he got the message.
"The Sopranos" - I'm trying not to watch it ---- I hate the feeling of HAVING to do anything, but this show is too good to miss. I HAVE to watch it. "The Sopranos" - Sunday nights at 9:00.

ACT 4
IS THIS ANYTHING?
It's a guy with a whip on fire. He snaps the whip in front of his partner who blows a big fire ball. Kiva does her stuff with the grinder. George Clarke fills in for Anna Jack and attempts to do the hula hoops.
Is This Anything?

Paul says it's something.
Dave says it's nothing.

ACT 5
Alan announce: "It's time for a Late Show Announcement.
This year's tax deadline is April 17th. Please make note of it.
This has been a Late Show Announcement.
Pull the car around, Shirley, I'm comin' home."

ACT 6
PAUL SCHEER: From Long Island and MTV's "Human Giant," a fast-paced sketch comedy show that tends to be a bit more aggressive in its style than most are used to.
Paul has been dabbling in the sketch comedy since he was a kid. Granted, there was no script or cameras or audience at the time, but there was in his mind. He owned a gorilla suit that he would put on and run around the neighborhood just to see who the neighbors would react. How did they react? Police were called.
Paul admits to being a bit of a comedy nerd and says he went to NYU for one reason only . . . because Theo from "The Cosby Show" went there. Are his parents proud of his going into show business? Yes and no. They don't like the comedy that much and wish he would concentrate more in the theater. Hey, he's on Broadway tonight! And his parents ditched work today to be in the audience. First row? No. Upstairs in the back of the balcony.
"Human Giant" - Thursdays at 10:30 on the MTV. It premiered April 5th.

ACT 7
SON VOLT: From their CD, "The Search," Son Volt performed "The Picture."

And that was show for Wednesday, April 18, 2007.



WILD FIRE
(Michael M. Murphey - Larry Cansler)
She comes down from Yellow Mountain
On the dark flat land she rides
On a pony she named Wildfire
With a whirlwind by her side.

On a cold Nebraska night.

Oh, they say she died one winter
When there came a killing frost
And the pony she named Wildfire he busted down his stall
And in a blizzard he was lost.

She went callin' Wildfire, callin' Wildfirem callin' Wildfire.

By the dark of the moon I planted
But there came an early snow
There's been a hoot owl howlin' by my window now
For six nights in a row she's coming for me I know
And on Wildfire we're both gonna go

We'll be riding Wildfire, riding Wildfire, riding Wildfire/

On Wildfire we'll ride
we're gonna leave sodbustin' behind
Get these hard times right on out
Of our minds riding Wildfire...

You know, those Geico commercials are getting real close to becoming very very annoying. I read somewhere that if Geico cut out half their commercials, we would be able to save up to 20% on our car insurance.

I was watching the McLaughlin Group the other day and they mentioned a politician in California who came out and said he was an atheist. I shrugged and wondered what difference it really makes. And then I thought . . . . If I were an atheist, I would know that for change to occur, WE, you and I, WE would have to make that change. If I was not an atheist and was a believer in a Greater Being, I could get away with simply HOPING change would occur. The thought occurred to me that having a Greater Being around helps to deflect some of the responsibility for change. And then I kept clicking the remote until I came to baseball highlights and finished my sandwich.

I was listening to 1010-WINS on the radio this morning on my drive in. The news guy is recapping NBC's decision to broadcast the clips of the Virginia Tech crazed gunman which they received in the mail. He reports that experts fear the airing of the clips to be extremely dangerous and would not be surprised if it creates copycats at other schools and universities. And then without stopping for a breath, the news guy continues "And you can see all these clips on our 1010-WINS website."

I found this a bit odd. I was watching the Yankee game and an Amstel beer commercial came on. What caught my ear was that the music for the commercial was a Rolling Stones song, "Let It Bleed," sung by another. The piece includes a late night camp scene of 30-somethings sitting around a camp fire. They are singing "Let It Bleed" by the Rolling Stones. The music contained the opening lyrics to "Let It Bleed:"
"Well, we all need someone we can lean on . . .
And if you wanna, you can lean on me."
A bottle of Amstel then pops up on screen to conclude the commercial.
This is what I got from the commercial spot . . . . need help? Need a friend? Need someone to lean on? . . . . alcohol is there for you.
I love the song. I just thought it odd that it would be used in a commercial for alcohol, as if it is a good idea to use alcohol as a crutch. But then maybe I'm reading too much into it.

During that same Yankee game, the Yanks were leading 4-2 in the bottom of the 9th against the Oakland A's. It was a day game so I called in my daughter Danielle, a baseball fan, to watch the final 3 outs pitched by future Hall of Famer Mariano Rivera, the greatest closer in the history of the game. Since most baseball games are night games and the 9th inning usually comes on after her bedtime, she never really gets the chance to see the great Mariano pitch. I told her she was watching baseball excellence.
One out. The second out followed quickly. The script was going perfect. I was announcing the game for her, telling her what to expect and all the great things Mariano had done in his career. She pretended interest. The third batter got a single. Hey, it happens sometimes. The next batter walked. Danielle was getting impatient and wanted to get back to playing but I made her wait for the last out . . . unfortunately it never came. The #9 batter in the order, Marco Scutaro, hit a 3-run home run to win the game for the A's. I was stunned. Danielle got up and walked out, but not before muttering with sarcasm, "Thanks, dad. He's real great."
And that will probably be her lasting image of Mariano Rivera.

It's time for "Another One of My Ideas That Will Not Get On The Show".
Have a Joey Crawford NBA ref look-alike standing by all night. Dave says Joey Crawford is here to throw out anybody who laughs.
This concludes another installment of "Another One of My Ideas That Will Not Get On The Show"

I watched "The Wonder Years" on the ION Television channel last night. In this episode, Kevin was unsure on how to act upon his crush with Winnie.

And now more useless information from "The Book of Useless Information."
-It takes more than 500 peanuts to make one 12-ounce jar of peanut butter
-You use more calories eating celery than there are in celery itself.
-Tomatoes and cucumbers are fruits
-A can of Spam is opened every 4 seconds
-The glue on Israeli postage stamps is certified Kosher

And so ends another issue of the Wahoo Gazette, the world's longest continuous-running blog on the internet . . . . I think.

CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER
From Caves Beach, NSW, Australia, it's Maree Jones
This concludes another installment of CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER