Dave still has a bit of the squeaky voice from the night before. Yesterday I said he sounded like Slim Pickens. Tonight, Dave says he sounds like Mr. Haney of "Green Acres."
By the way, I watched a few episodes of "Green Acres" on the TV Land channel last week. That show still works for me. It brought quite a few chuckles; probably because it wasn't centered on a couple of wise-ass kids. Except for Ebb, Arnold, and Lisa, all the main characters were over 40.

Just before coming down to do the show, Dave was told something that threw him off. Our costume designer Susan Hum mentioned something about "custom made socks." Huh? Is there such a thing? I guess so. 25 years ago who would have believed there would be bottled water that would cost more than milk and gasoline?

Dave is excited about the Super Bowl in 10 days or so. His Colts, led by Peyton Manning, are a 7-point favorite over the Chicago Bears. That's some family, the Mannings. Daddy Manning, Archie, played for years with the New Orleans Saints back in the 70's. Peyton is currently the best in the business. Brother Eli led the New York Giants to the playoffs for the second year in a row and has a bright future. And then there is Lois Manning who may be the best of the bunch. Those in the know suspect she will be drafted early by the San Francisco 49ers.

And now it's time for the "Time For Your Lipitor, Dick." From last night's State of the Union Address, while the President is speaking, behind we can see Vice President Dick Cheney pop a pill into his mouth.

And now it's time for the "Hillary Clinton Smirk of the Night." From last night's State of the Union Address, we see Hillary responding to something the President said. It's one of her patented smirks.

Dave still has the cough he's had all week. He tries to clear his throat by coughing it away. After a few healthy unhealthy hacks, he coughs up a little blue bird. That probably explains the tickle in his throat.

GREAT MOMENTS IN PRESIDENTIAL SPEECHES: We see FDR. We see JFK. We see George W. Bush muttering and playing with the microphone cord.

And now it's time for the "Condoleezza Rice Looking Pissed." From last night's State of the Union Address, we see the President speak. And then there is a cutaway to the Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice. She looks pissed.

And now it's time for the "Dick Cheney/Nancy Pelosi Blink Count." From last night's State of the Union Address as the President speaks, we see behind him the Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi and Vice President Dick Cheney. We put up two counters and track how many times each of them blink. In less that twenty seconds: Cheney: 0. Pelosi: 30.

Dave just learned something new about Lois Manning. She signed a letter of intent to play quarterback at the University of South Carolina for Steve Spurrier. I'd give you the name of the South Carolina team but I wouldn't be able to get it past the censors.

People are always asking Dave what goes on backstage at the Late Show. Sometimes it is pretty interesting. This afternoon, he happened to run into Paul. Dave remembers it as if it were just this afternoon . . . . he rubs his chin which is the universal sign to go to a gliss and recall a memory. The picture of Dave at the desk blurs to dissolve to a reenactment of the Dave and Paul memory from earlier in the day. Dave continues to rub his chin . . . and continues . . . but we never go to the memory. The gliss remains as Dave keeps rubbing his chin. Finally, Dave asks Dorsett the camera guy what is the problem? Dorsett walks to the front of his camera and gives it a couple smacks and whacks. The blur disappears and the camera refocuses. Dorsett returns to his position behind the camera and says, "Sorry, Dave. This camera's a piece of 'djoy.'"
(The Wahoo Gazette is a family publication. To decipher 'djoy', simply look to the left of each letter in 'djoy' on your keyboard.)

TOP TEN: Ways George W. Bush Can Boost His Popularity - George W. Bush's approval rating has dropped to 28%, the lowest for a President since Nixon a week before his resignation.
#10. Hang Saddam again
#4. Resign
#2. Nail a heavyset girl.
Check out the entire Top Ten at "Last Night on the Late Show."

JOHN MADDEN: (psssst, it's not really John Madden . . . it's comedian and impersonator Frank Caliendo)
The last time John Madden was here in December before the playoffs, he predicted a Colts/Bears Super Bowl. John isn't surprised. He eats, sleeps, and drinks football. He then expands on that by saying it's easy to sleep football, followed by eat football. Drink Football is the hardest, unless you get a mug in the shape of a football and then maybe you could say you drink football.
What does John think about the big match-up between Bears QB Rex Grossman and Colts QB Peyton Manning. John scoffs. They don't play against each other; they're both quarterbacks. Grossman is matched up against the Colts defense and Manning is matched up against the Bears defense. Now if BOTH offenses were on the field at the same time, that would be something. There would be a fight for the all before every play. Usually the team with the strongest center would win the game.
As for who is going to win the game . . . it's like being in the wild . . . a Bear would always beat a Colt; like scissors always beats paper. John goes off in a tangent when he asks Dave how does paper beat a rock? It doesn't make sense. He gets the other stuff, but paper beating a rock? To answer Dave's question, John summarizes, "One of those two teams have a chance to win the game."
As Dave asks John the next question, Madden takes a chicken wing out of his pocket and begins to snack. While Madden snacks, Dave wants to explore the career of Lois Manning. John begins to answer but has too hard a time chomping down and swallowing the chicken wing. "It's a lot drier than I anticipated" he laments.
It's been said that Peyton Manning can't win the big game. I guess he proved them wrong with the win against the Patriots. John says Manning won "A big game" but has not yet won "THE big game, the Super Bowl." It isn't "A Incredible Hulk"; it's "THE Incredible Hulk." Same thing . . . I think.
John Madden gets the chance to plug his video game, "John Madden Football." The Madden game franchise has sold over 50 million copies. Next to "Grand Theft Auto", "John Madden Football" is his favorite video game. John then expresses his fondness and frustration with Donkey Kong and Super Mario.
And that's John Madden. Always enjoyable.
Super Bowl XLI - February 5th from Dolphin Stadium - it's gonna be Farvalous.

MANDY MOORE: She got specially dressed up for Dave. How nice. Makes me rethink my daily blue jeans and t-shirt. Mandy has made a list of goals she would like to achieve by the time she turns 30. I think the only goal I had in my 20s was to make it to 30. I'm surprised I made it. Some of her goals: She wants to learn to play the guitar, so she's started taking cooking lessons. She wants to learn how to cook. She wants to learn French. Dave suggests one of her goals could be to get some custom-made socks.
Last year, Mandy was busy putting together an album which she recorded up in upstate New York at Woodstock. Ahh, Woodstock. Now that was an era of some great music; late 60s, early 70s. Each December I drive up to Woodstock to cut down a Christmas tree. I pass right by Yasgur's Farm. I never fail to yell, "Give me an 'F'" as I sight Yasgur's.
While recording the album, Mandy stayed in a haunted house. (I hope she got a good deal.) It was an old house. The ghosts live in Pittsburgh but summer in the Catskills of Woodstock. She noticed some creepy things while in the house, like lights and the TV going on and off; she heard footsteps when there was no one else in the house; and she found her pants on the floor of the laundry room when she was sure she had hung them up to dry. . . and this happened more than once. Mandy decided it would be best if she explained to the ghosts that she would only be there for only a short while and she had no plans of moving into the house. It's sort of what I did when I had to move back in with my parents for a spell.
Mandy also bought herself a new old car that she had converted so it would run on soybean oil. The exhaust smells like Korean barbecue. My first car smelled like old cigarettes and burning rubber.
You can see Mandy Moore in the new film, "Because I Said So" with Diane Keaton opening Friday, February 2nd.

ACT 4: Here now with a "State of the Union Recap" is our announcer, Alan Kalter.
Alan: "Thank you, Dave. Last night, President Bush delivered his seventh State of the Union address, but his first in front of a Democratic majority. And for the first time in our nation's history, the chamber was presided over by a female Speaker of the House, Nancy Pelosi."
Lights dim; soft sexy music is heard; Alan turns to another camera and speaks in a low "come-hither" baritone.
Alan: "Nancy, honey, I know being one of the most powerful women in the world can be a little stressful, so why not call a recess and schedule a caucus with Big Red. We'll start with some wine, maybe some slow dancing and before long, you'll be under my spell. Five minutes after we adjourn to my jungle-themed bedroom, you'll go from Speaker of the House to Screamer of the House. So wrap those delicate, porcelain hands around my gavel, Madame Speaker, and let the banging begin . . . . . Ohhhhhh!"

Thankfully, Dave stopped Alan from continuing.

ACT 5: "Guests to the Late Show receive a pair of custom made socks. You haven't lived until you have a pair of socks tailored to the exact dimensions of your feet. Why custom made socks, you ask? Because custom made socks offer the support and comfort that you can't find in store-bought socks. Late Show Costume Designer Susan Hum says, 'It's worth the trip.' We'll be right back."

ROSANNE CASH: From her CD, "Black Cadillac", the lovely Rosanne Cash performed "Black Cadillac."

And that was our show for Wednesday, January 24, 2007.



I erred in Tuesday's Wahoo Gazette. I posted the ACT 5 that we had originally set to go, but when Erin of Colton, New York came on to play "What's Under the Pantsuit?" and mentioned the restaurant she worked at, Angelo's, we decided to change the ACT 5 to reflect that. How do we change something on the fly like that? We quickly type up new copy in the shack backstage where a few of us and the headwriters watch the show. Copies are made and delivered as soon as possible to the necessary parties during the show. A copy is given to Alan so he can familiarize himself to the new read. Our chyron operator is given a copy so he can prepare the text seen on the screen. A copy is given to Paul so he is aware of what is to come. Foley gets a copy; Gaines gets a copy, and a few others get a copy. Our graphic department upstairs is sent a copy by e-mail. If they can't find the exact Angelo's restaurant in Colton, New York on the internet, they'll use a generic Angelo's or any restaurant that would fit what we want. By the time the ACT 5 rolls around, we have a new piece ready to go. In fact, that's exactly what happened tonight with the ACT 5 about Custom-Made Socks. We scrapped the ACT 5 that we had originally set to go and went with a piece about custom-made socks. And since Alan had a major piece in the ACT 4, his plea to Nancy Pelosi, it was decided that I would do the read for the new ACT 5 and the custom-made socks. I still don't know why they choose me to do these but I only question it silently to myself. We did the new ACT 5 during the show, but then it was decided we wanted it a bit longer. It was again rewritten and I read the newer ACT 5 after the show from Alan's position in front of an empty audience. The edit room then did their magic and what you saw was the result.

I've decided that from now on whenever I mention the Wahoo Gazette, I'm going to add the tag, "the internet's longest-running blog." This way when someone is Googling to find out what is the longest running blog, the Wahoo Gazette will pop up and be part of the discussion. But is it the longest-running blog? I don't know. The first Wahoo appeared way back in the last century in November of 1996.

Some of you have written that you prefer the Wahoo Gazette in black text with a white background, the way it used to be. The online producers have heard your cries and you now have the option of how to view the Wahoo Gazette. Look at the top of the Wahoo and just to the right of my name you'll see "Change Text Color". If you click on "black", the background will change to white and the text will change to black.
You asked and you received.

Senator Jim Webb of Virginia gave the Democratic rebuttal to President Bush's State of the Union Address Tuesday night. For those interested, Senator Webb is 6 feet, 2 inches tall. In his stocking feet, he is 6 feet tall. With a haircut, he is 5 feet 8 inches.

I've received some e-mails about my Super Bowl Weekend idea of the Super Bowl being played on a Saturday. (for my idea, click on the January 18th Wahoo Gazette). I mentioned how the hotel industry would make a lot of business by throwing Super Bowl parties, much like the do for New Year's Eve. And the only way my plan would work is if the big players in the move could make money. Any convenience it would afford the fans is not even in the discussion. One argument against the idea of hotels having big Super Bowl parties was this:
The television networks do not want Super Bowl parties. They can't tabulate how many viewers there are for the game. The networks want everyone staying in their own home watching their own TV. This would maximize the number of televisions in use and tuned in to the game. At a Super Bowl party, one TV can entertain scores of fans. This might cut into the Nielsen number, and in turn, cut into how much the network could charge for advertising.

We'll be running previously viewed programs for the rest of this week and then on Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday next week. This is the scheduled repeats
Thursday, January 25: From December 12, 2006; #2670 - Howard Stern and Gwen Stefani.
Friday, January 26: From December 15, 2006; #2673 - Clint Eastwood and Matthew Fox.
Monday, January 29: From December 14, 2006; #2672 - Will Smith; Evanescence; and Gerry Mulligan as Hillary Clinton.
Tuesday, January 30: From December 11, 2006; #2669 - Matt Damon and Barbara Walters.
Wednesday, January 31: From December 20, 2006; #2676 - Renee Zelwegger; Taking Back Sunday; and a holiday toy demo with Shannon Eis.

Check the Wahoo Archives and make your plans accordingly.

CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER
From Clarks Summit, Pennsylvania, it's Trisha Herod.
This concludes another episode of CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER