This weekend we pushed the clock back one hour. Now instead of Dave's little Harry waking up at 6:00 AM, he's waking up at 5:00 AM. Dave was curious how this would affect his naps. Mommy had to leave the house for awhile and this left Dave in charge of Harry. Dave put Harry in for a nap. Soon afterwards, Harry lets out a yelp for "Mommmmmmyyyyyyy!" Dave read the same book I did (by Ferber?) that instructs the parent to let the child bellow for a half hour before responding. Harry does a few more "Mommmmmmyyyyyyyys!" When that doesn't work, he tries "Daddddddddyyyyyyyyyy!" "Dadddddddddyyyyyyyyyy!" And then soon after that, Harry starts barking like a dog. Frazzled, Dave decided to step in before the half hour was up. He asks Harry, "How was your nap?" Harry, with a big smile, says, "Good!"

On the show tonight is Beck. Dave shows the new Beck CD, "The Information". The front is blank, but contained inside are sticker which allows you to design your own Beck CD cover. Dave wonders that for the price you pay for a CD, they couldn't design the CD for you back at the plant.

Have you heard of the pumpkin shortage? And it's come at the worst time. But one savvy businessman has come out with an alternative that's just as scary as a conventional jack o' lantern. Dave holds up a hairy ball with a pumpkin stem out the top. It's the Trumpkin.

Over the weekend, Fidel Castro invited a camera crew to the hospital so he could show the world that he's up and walking again. We have LIVE footage of Fidel. We see Castro proudly walking out of the hospital . . . and trips flat on his face. OUCH! I know we've seen that before, but it's still a funny clip.

The latest installment of the "Saw" horror movie franchise took home the top spot at the box office over the weekend. "Saw 3" took in $34 million. Dave saw this promo earlier today. Announcer:

"Pain is part of the puzzle. Blood is the price of freedom. 'Saw 3' is the number one film in America.
If you saw 'Saw' and 'Saw 2', you want to see 'Saw 3' and see what satisfied audiences everywhere saw over the weekend. Forget what you saw in 'Saw' and 'Saw 2', because in 'Saw 3' you'll see things you never saw before. If you saw the Jigsaw sawed in the first two 'Saws', Jigsaw saws way more in this 'Saw.' And if you never say any of the previous 'Saws', see if you can rent 'Saw' and 'Saw 2' before you see 'Saw 3.' Or just ask someone who saw 'Saw' and 'Saw 2' to tell you what they saw.
'Saw 3' - now playing."

From a Douglasville, Georgia paper:
"Supercuts --- grand opening special. Adult haircut $9.00. A $4.00 value."

The Star Farmer News (Minnesota):
"Funeral director Lind is certified clown."

The Lassen County Times/Westwood Pines Press (California):
"Meet Jim Sandberg - Jim says, 'Working for Waste Management give me the opportunity to meet a lot of interesting people in our community."

The Lassen County Times/Westwood Pines Press (California):
"Integrative Counseling Services, Inc. Photo featured are not actual clients or area residents."

Shopper's Hotline (Alabama):
"Now here's a classified ad I don't understand at all. - 'Crap Machine, new, used about 1 month. $100"

The Cornwall Local (New York):
"Police Blotter - on October 14th, a motorist stopped at the police station to fill out an accident report. She said that as she was driving on Hudson Street, a walnut fell off a tree and damaged her car."

The Drain Enterprise (Oregon):
"Albert 'Ab' Hunter of Drain passed away October 14th, 2006, at the age of 80 due to ape related causes."

The Tipp City Independent Voice (Ohio):
"A Tipp City woman called the police after speaking with a man that appeared to be intoxicated asked her for directions to the Laundromat while driving his vehicle. The woman said that man would stick out because his head 'bends funny.'"

The Adams County Record (Idaho):
"Indian Valley/Mesa News: Lynn sees Kenny Rogers, then has to visit her doctor."

The News-Herald (Franklin, Pennsylvania):
"Police in Franklin are looking for the woman who passed a counterfeit $4 bill at 1 PM Tuesday at McDonald's Restaurant."

The Oskaloosa (Kansas) Independent:
"Happy Birthday, Mark Lash. Love, your family and kids."
(photo of Mark Lash is of an 11-year-old.)

Bulletin Progressive Record Reporter (California):
"Sheriff's Blotter: In Portola, a caller reported that her husband was possibly suicidal and just left to walk to the store. A deputy said that there was nothing wrong with him, that he just had to get away from his wife."
(Dave says, "I think we've all be a little suicidal")

And finally, The Daily Tribune, Cartersville, Georgia:
"Free dog to a good home. Female, one-and-a-half years old. Spayed. Housebroken. Up to date on shits."

Sorry I wrote that, but if the Daily Tribune in Cartersville can print it, I figure the Wahoo can do it this once.

If you have any good Small Town News articles or ads, send them in to the Late Show.

TOP TEN: Things I Have Learned From 'Dancing With The Stars.' - and here to present tonight's Top Ten list, the most recent celebrity to be voted out, Jerry Springer.
#6. You do much better if you take the vitamins supplied by Barry Bonds' trainer.
#5. The definition of "star" has really loosened up
#4. This might be why the terrorist hate us
#2. If there's one thing ore exciting than being on "Dancing With The Stars", it's not longer being on "Dancing With The Stars."
#1. I need a new agent.

BORAT: He enters dancing a bit of the disco and gives Dave a kiss on each side of the cheek. Borat is from Kazakhstan and his new film, "Borat: Cultural Learnings of America For Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan" which opens on Friday. Borat is a very strange man, but I think that has something to do with the language barrier. Borat notices Paul Shaffer and says that Paul is the biggest star in Kazakhstan and over there January 16th is Paul Shaffer Day.
Dave has Borat tell us a little about himself. He enjoys disco dancing and ping pong. And he likes to "photograph of ladies when they make toilet."
Married? Borat answers, "No. She's dead." And then brightens, "High Five!" as Dave and Borat exchange a high five.
Borat says Kazakhstan is civilized much like the U.S. and A. The audience laughs. Dave and Borat laugh. Borat asks, "Why are we laughing?" I found that funny. Borat says some more insensitive stuff, but I'm sure he was unaware of it due to the cultural differences and the language barrier. We see a clip from his upcoming movie taking a driving test. The other clips I've seen I find to be uncomfortably funny.

TIKI BARBER: from the New York Giants; the NFL's leading rusher this year. His twin brother Ronde leads the NFL in tackles. I was a bit surprised to find this on an NFL website since Ronde is a defensive back. I figured a leader in tackles would be a linebacker. Tiki is a fantastic running back, but since he's a gentleman he doesn't get the publicity a Terrell Owens gets. Giant fans are in a tizzy as Tiki has hinted that he will be retiring after this year, even though he is still at the top of his game. How has he hinted his impending retirement? By saying, "I am definitely retiring after this season. Tiki can retire, since he will have a long list of jobs in broadcasting to choose from. He's got it all; looks, articulate, smart, the smile, engaging, and successful. And I've read he isn't interested in sports broadcasting, but more like working on a morning show or something like that.
So why don't Giant fans believe he will retire? And why are they "mad" at him for retiring when he still has so much football left in him? Tiki says that Americans are obsessed with sports. When a pro athlete leaves the game while still performing at an all-star level, it's as if the athlete is destroying the fans' dream. As a Giant fan, I'm still hoping Tiki changes his mind, but if he does retire, that's his choice. He's given this Giant fan more than enough already. Plus, we have another running back who looks to be ready to take over. If the Giants had no one to step in, I'd be a lot angrier with Tiki.
Tike Barber - he's one of the good guys.

BECK - Hey, now, that was a good song. From his CD, "The Information", Beck performed "Nausea."

And that was our show for Monday, October 30, 2006. Wahoo EXTRA!

Tonight's guest list of Borat, Barber, and Beck reminded me of the Fab laundry detergent with Bleach, Borax, and Brighteners.

Basketball legend Red Auerbach died this weekend at the age of 89. And how eerie is it that Red Auerbach died the very weekend that we put the clocks an hour back?

I really wish I could take credit for that joke but I can't. I heard it on the radio this morning. Dang it. I don't know how I missed that one.

And now, my final World Series and baseball observations for the year.

The Cardinals win the World Series. That makes a champion from each of the 6 divisions the past 6 years.
I laughed when FOX field reporter Jeanne Zelasko was interviewing the Cardinal owner, manager, and I'm guessing the general manager in front of the home crowd after the game. She mentioned the "World Series Champion St. Louis Cardinals." The crowd gave a big big cheer. For the rest of the interviews with the 3 Cardinals, Jeanne tried to get one of them to say "World Series Champion St. Louis Cardinals" so the crowd would respond. She said to the owner, "Why don't you say it one more time for the home crowd, 'World Series Champion St. Louis Cardinals." The owner ignored her request and went on with whatever he had in mind. She asked the GM to say the magic words, but he had something else on his mind to say. And she asked LaRussa to say the words, but he too didn't say it either. I found this all very amusing. I was hoping she would scream, "Damn it, will one of you say 'World Series Champion St. Louis Cardinals!'"

And then it was time for the presentation of the World Series Most Valuable Player Award. The esteemed baseball commissioner Bud Selig made the presentation. He said, "And the 2006 World Series Most Valuable Player Award goes to . . . David Ecksteen!" I cursed the TV, screaming "It's Eckstyne, you idiot. Eckstyne, not Ecksteen!" How come the Commissioner doesn't know his product? There was no reason the Commissioner did not know the correct pronunciation of "Eckstein" on the biggest stage at that moment.
It's like all those people who wrote to tell me how rude Dave was to their hero, Bill O'Riley and Bill O'Riely and Bill O'Rielly. I received 6 e-mails in support of O'Reilly. 4 spelled his name wrong.

Someone told me Bud Selig corrected himself moments after his goof, but I didn't hear it. I was yelling at the TV at the time.

I'm reading the USA Today the other day. It's an article about the foul weather during the World Series and what can be done about it. I read, "Next year, the World Series schedule is shifting to a midweek start and finish."
The next paragraph is the quote: "'The change is something baseball has been pushing for, and we agreed to try it,' FOX Sports president Ed Goren said Thursday."

Does anybody see what's wrong with the above? The President of FOX Sports says there that baseball has been wanting to make a change, and FOX said OK. FOX Sports agreed to try it. WHAT?! FOX gets the final decision? No no no no. It's not supposed to be that way. It's supposed to be that baseball wants a change; baseball makes the change; and then FOX Sports adapts to the change. FOX is supposed to adapt to baseball. Baseball isn't supposed to "push" for a change and hope FOX agrees. Oh, baseball baseball baseball. You are so stupid for giving your game away for a few dollars.

There was a great article in the New York Times on Sunday about the FOX coverage of the World Series. It was written by Richard Sandomir and it opened with: "Watching FOX Sports cover the World Series, I sometimes wanted to say 'Just show me the field, the whole field, and nothing but the field. That's where the action is. That's why I tuned in."
He goes on to write that during Game 4, FOX cut to the crowd 222 times. It cut to the inside of the Detroit and St. Louis dugouts 153 times. That's 375 images away from the field. Great article. Great gripes.

This weekend:
California University of Pennsylvania Vulcans: 35
Shippensburg Red Raiders: 20

The Vulcans increase their record to 7-2; 4-0 in the PSAC West.
Next game for the 25th-ranked D2Football squad: November 4th at Clarion.