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Tuesday, October 18, 2005
Show #2445
By Michael Z. McIntee Change Text Color:
Black | White


Catherine Zeta-Jones; and Antony and The Johnsons.
PLUS: Bush Still Wingin' It; The Barber; a top ten list; and What's On The Ipod?

It's Tuesday night and time to pay a visit to Rupert Jee at the Hello Deli. Dave and the Rupe make the small talk about Dave's Indianapolis Colts and Rupert's New York Jets. Dave makes a quick scan of the deli and notices Rupert is out of TicTacs. Dave admonishes Rupert for not having Tic Tacs on hand. Time to restock. And how about the Explod-O-Pop Atomic Popping Corn? Is that a big seller? Rupert says it is. Tonight, we're playing "What's On The Ipod?" Rupert will put on the earphones of an Ipod and sing along to the song that is playing. It will be up to the contestant to determine the song within 30 seconds. Dave asks Rupert, "Are you looking forward to it?" A less than enthused Rupert responds, "Oh, yeah." Or maybe that was Rupert's enthused response . . . you really can't tell. Dave suggests that Rupert put on some of the Explod-O-Pop to enjoy with the contestant when we come back to him. While Rupert goes outside to find a contestant, we continue with the show.

Here now is the President of CBS Television, Les Moonves. Les? We see a clip from an episode of "Cannon" from 1976. It's Les as a fledgling actor portraying a Mexican pearl diver. He says, "My name is Pascual." And then we see it again.

Did you see the Bush teleconference the other day with our soldiers overseas? The White House denies that it was staged, despite footage of a Pentagon official coaching the soldiers on their answers. Dave finds it hard to believe but claims the government is makes a convincing argument.
Announcer:

"While covering President Bush's teleconference with troops stationed in Iraq, many news outlets also aired footage of the soldiers being coached beforehand. And while some points to this as evidence that the session was staged, the White House assures America that the President went into the conference just as unrehearsed, uninformed, and unprepared as he was when he invaded Iraq in the first place. George W. Bush - still wingin' it."
And U.S. Forces believe they have apprehended Al Qaeda's top barber. It may not sound like much, but this announcement is already having some impact.
Announcer:
"According to latest reports, United States Forces have captured Al Qaeda barber Walid Muhammad Farhan Juwar Al-Zubaydi. And now that he's out of business, there's never been a better time to visit the Fallujah Supercuts! Whether you're a crazed jihadist militant or just want to look like one, we'll keep you looking your best as you wage holy war against the godless American jackals. And our staff is trained in all the most popular styles, from 'The Osama,' . . . to 'The Saddam' . . . to 'The Rachel.' Supercuts --- We know how it is."
You can never get too much of Pascual. We watch Mr. Moonves a few more times saying, "My name is Pascual."

Back to Rupert's. With Mr. Jee is Courtney from Salem, Oregon. What's the weather like in Oregon, rainy and cold? Courtney says it is rains about 75% of the time. She's in New York going to Hunter College studying business and hopes to go into marketing when she graduates. Dave asks if she would like a Tic Tac. Courtney says she would. Unfortunately, we once again see Rupert is out of Tic Tacs and Dave has to tell Courtney the Tic Tacs are not going to happen.
Courtney is told how the game is to be played and is eager to participate. And what are we playing for tonight? Alan, with his arm in a sling, announces, "It's a Casio keyboard!" Dave points out that Alan had some surgery done on his shoulder this morning and here he is today ready to work. Dave commends his loyalty. A concerned Dave asks, "Are you in any pain?" Says a grinning Alan, "No, I'm drugged to the gills!"
OK, time to play the game. Rupert puts the Ipod headphones into his ears and begins to silently listen. He then begins to sing along to the song. "Nowhere to play . . . now . . . huh huh huh huh huh . . ." Times up. Does Courtney have a guess? Courtney replies, "I have not a clue." Is it "I Have Not A Clue"? NOOOOOOO! So sorry, Courtney. It was "Soak Up The Sun" by Sheryl Crow.
And that's how we play, "What's On The Ipod?"

Did you hear about that woman in Arkansas who recently gave birth to her 16th child? We found it to be such an interesting story that we sent our cue card man/correspondent Tony Mendez to interview the woman. We see a clip from the visit.
We find Tony with the woman in a play area for the kids. The children are running amok throughout the house.
TONY: "So, are you going to stop at 16?"
WOMAN: "What?"
TONY: (turning to the kids, a bit angry) "Do you mind?" (back to woman) "16 children. Go ahead; can you name all of them for us?"
WOMAN: "I really can't hear anything . . ."
TONY: (to kids) "Shut up!" (Back to woman) "How much are you spending on braces?" WOMAN: "What are you saying?"
Tony continues to try to be heard. One of the darlings then dumps a pitcher of Kool-Aid on the despondent correspondent.
And that was that.

TOP TEN: Signs Sylvester Stallone is Too Old To Play Rocky.
59-year-old Sylvester Stallone is about to begin work on the 6th Rocky film in the spring.
-The first Rocky was in 1976.
-The most recent Rocky, "Rocky V," was in theaters 15 years ago in 1990.
Top ten signs Sylvester Stallone is too old to play Rocky:
#9. Constantly saying, "Yo, Adrian, get my Lipitor."
#5. His stunt double: Wilford Brimley.
#2. Opponent in "Rocky 6" is guy with a cloak and scythe.

CATHERINE ZETA-JONES: The vivacious Catherine Zeta-Jones. Dave detects a slight accent, which Catherine says is Welsh. She can also do a bit of the Scottish accent and also the Australian. Why does she know so many accents? She says because years ago she was told that there were not too many jobs for women with a Welsh accent. She's been married to actor Michael Douglas --- Michael --- not Mike, the talk show guy --- she's been married to Michael Douglas for 5 years and they live in Bermuda. Residing in Bermuda makes for a home with a lot of visitors. Does she cook when playing hostess? No, she doesn't. She tried once to impress Michael with her cooking abilities but Michael had to quickly show off his fire-extinguishing abilities. Some cooking oil went astray with a flame attached. She nearly burnt the house down. She's since learned how to make reservations, at which she excels.
This Saturday she is heading "Saturday Night Live." Dave explains that the LIVE part in "Saturday Night Live" means it is LIVE. Does that make her nervous? Catherine says she likes working in front of a LIVE audience but it also makes her nervous. She wondered if she made the right decision to do SNL when two days she had nothing yet to work on. No scripts, no ideas, no nothing. Dave says it sounds as if Catherine has the right amount of nervousness to make her appearance on Saturday Night Live work. Going in with too much confidence is likely to come back to haunt you.

Being a resident of Bermuda give Catherine the opportunity to play a lot of golf. She's just picked up the game recently and is already shooting in the 90s. Not bad. Dave asks if she would like to hit a few golf balls right now. She agrees and the two walk to center stage. Dave warns that they will be using exploding golf balls. Two mats are place on the floor and they each grab a driver. The exploding golf ball is placed on the tee and she takes aim towards the audience. Now on my way up to the stage before the show, I had to run through the control room. There I overheard one of the prop guys telling the director that an exploding golf ball doesn't just evaporate into dust. Once hit, the golf ball smashes to smithereens and a puff of white dust billows. But chards of the exploded golf ball also fly out. It was strongly suggested the golf balls be hit towards the back of the stage, not towards the audience. When I saw Catherine taking aim towards the audience I was a little more than a bit concerned. Thankfully, Paul advised them to turn the other way. Catherine approaches the ball and, in her high heels, makes a solid hit to the ball. PUFF! Now it's Dave's turn. He asks Catherine if she could help him with his swing but she pretends to not hear. Dave again motions for her to get behind him and guide his swing but she's not catching on. Dave gives up, looking as if this wasn't the first time this has happened to him. Dave swings and hits the golf ball, puffing the exploding ball. My thoughts after my first swing of a round of golf: 120 more to go for drinks.
We come back to see a clip of Catherine's upcoming film, "The Legend of Zorro," opening October 28th. It also stars Antonio Banderas and Anthony Hopkins.

ACT 5: It's a bevy of shots of Catherine's golf shot. Very nice form. And she has a nice swing, too.

ANTONY AND THE JOHNSONS: Winners of Britain's prestigious Mercury Prize for their CD, "I Am A Bird Now," Antony and the Johnsons performed "You Are My Sister." I sort of liked it. It was a bit odd, but I sort of liked it. I would like to hear a bit more.

And that was our show for Tuesday, October 18, 2005. Wahoo EXTRA!

With the success of "small ball" in this year's baseball playoffs, it's only a matter of time before Yankee owner George Steinbrenner puts in a call for his own brand of "small ball." Don't be surprised if the Yankees sign Dave Collins.

I watched "Fever Pitch" last week, the Boston Red Sox movie starring Drew Barrymore and Jimmy Fallon. I was entertained. My wife Denise thought Jimmy Fallon as the Red Sox fan was over-the-top but I assured her it wasn't. I thought it to be true to life. I particularly liked the part where he takes Drew to a Red Sox game and she is busy doing other things while he is trying to point out all the idiosyncrasies of the game and the charm of Fenway. She would have none of it. I've been there/done that at Yankee Stadium. It's very frustrating. I found the movie surprisingly believable, except the part where the Red Sox come back from 3 games down in the playoffs to beat the Yankees. Couldn't happen.
The scene where Fallon was trying to teach Drew about the game of baseball made me chuckle. It reminded me of a Met game I went to at Shea Stadium years ago. It was a Wednesday afternoon game and I went by myself. I sat way upstairs. Five rows in front of me was a kid in his late teens with his girlfriend. It was obvious to me that it was his idea to come to the ball park. She wasn't all that interested in the game. So the Mets are in the field and the other team has a guy on first base. The batter hits the ball deep into the right field corner. The outfielder chases down the ball as the guy from first runs for home. The outfielder relays the ball to the firstbase cut-off man who relays it to the catcher. The runner is safe at home by a step. I enjoy going to baseball games by myself but right then I wanted someone to talk to. The cut-off man set himself up too close to home. The throw from the outfielder bounced twice before it reached him. He then turned and threw to the catcher who was about 40 feet away. The cut-off man should have been closer to the outfielder so the throws would have been 150 feet from the outfielder to the cut-off man and 100 feet from the cut-off man to the catcher. As it was, there was a long throw followed by a really short throw. If the cut-off man positioned himself in the right spot, there would have been two strong throws and the runner would have likely been out at home. I was having this discussion with myself in my head. In front of me, the young couple were having the same discussion. The guy was telling his girlfriend the same thing that I was telling myself, but the girlfriend had no interest whatsoever. She couldn't have cared less about where the cut-off man was. I could tell the guy was growing frustrated. I felt his pain. A minute later, the girl gets up to go to the bathroom. When the guy was alone, I walked down and tell him that I was thinking the same thing, that the cut-off man was in the wrong position. He nearly jumped out of his seat with glee. "RIGHT!?" he screams. "Right!? The cut-off man was in the wrong spot! If he went out further, closer to the outfielder, he would have been in a better position to get the ball and throw it home! It would have been two strong throws instead of two weak ones!" He was so damn happy to share that with someone who understood. He was smiling the rest of the game.
Later in the game a runner is out sliding into third base. The guy points to the play then looks back at me. I say, "He would have been safe if he did a hook slide." He points back at me with a big smile and a nod. His girlfriend was looking into her popcorn.

Here's something I found on the MediaDailyNews website:

CBS.COM HAS TALENT SPIN BLOGGING MARKETING SUPPORT
By Wayne Friedman, Tuesday, Oct. 18, 2005 7:00AM
CBS.COM WILL HAVE ITS STARS, writers, and producers do some extra marketing spin by offering up weekly blogs for a number of CBS' prime-time shows.

CBS.com is now featuring blogs from "CSI: Miami," "Survivor: Guatemala," "How I Met Your Mother," and "Ghost Whisperer." In the coming weeks, CBS.com will unveil blogs for "Threshold," "NCIS," and "The Amazing Race: Family Edition." Larry Kramer, president of CBS Digital Media, said in a release: "We're confident these blogs will help drive traffic to our sites, while also increasing the visibility of these series on a whole new platform--and build an even stronger relationship with the viewers."

For instance, "The Ghost Whisperer" co-executive producer and famed medium James Van Praagh writes a blog providing behind-the-scenes information and goings-on in the spirit world.
And for "Survivor: Guatemala," the whole cast of contestants will contribute, analyzing the action and game strategy in Guatemala.

In other Internet news, CBS will offer free audio downloads of select CBS programs on the iTunes Music Store. Entertainment, news, and sports shows will include "60 Minutes," "Face the Nation," and "Guiding Light," as well as CBS Digital Media properties, "Survivor Live," "Soap Box," and "NFL Today Hot Topic." CBS Radio News will also be made available, as well as other programming from CBS digital media sites--CBS.com, CBSNews.com, UPN.com, and CBS SportsLine.com.

WOW! Imagine that! Blogs for CBS shows written by actual staff members! Why didn't we at the Late Show ever think of that? What a concept! How did they ever come up with an idea like that? And the blogs will be updated weekly! Updated once a week! Wowee! What a great new idea! This bright new idea gets a column in MediaDailyNews? Hmmm, let's see . . . November 25, 1996 . . . almost 9 years ago . . . that's when the Wahoo Gazette started. Nice to see the rest of the network finally start to catch up with the Late Show and the Wahoo Gazette.

And from the Hollywood Reporter:

BLOGS FLESH OUT HIT CBS SHOWS
By Carly Mayberry
LOS ANGELES (Hollywood Reporter) - CBS.com is bringing viewers into the blog universe as a new way of giving its audience insider information and exclusive looks behind the scenes of some of CBS' biggest hits.

Nancy Tellem, president of CBS Paramount Network Television Entertainment Group, said the blogs are a bonus for the network's viewers that reward their loyalty and interest. "Blogs are a great way to bring the millions of viewers who enjoy our programming into the creative process," she said.
Each show's blog is designed to reflect and extend the tone of the program. For example, the writers of freshman comedy "How I Met Your Mother" are creating Barney's Blog, using the voice of the character played by Neil Patrick Harris.

Corey Miller, executive story editor for "CSI: Miami," tells viewers how an episode goes from initial idea to final cut as he shares his perspective. James Van Praagh, co-executive producer of "Ghost Whisperer," is extending his online presence with a blog that provides information about the show, augmented by news relevant to the spirit world. And contestants from previous seasons comment on events during "Survivor: Guatemala."
"Threshold," "NCIS" and "The Amazing Race: Family Edition" are among the shows that will offer blogs in the future.
Reuters/Hollywood Reporter

Hello? Hello? Is anybody out there? Is anybody from CBS out there? The Late Show has had a blogger for 9 years. Jiminy Crickets! 8 years ago the TV Guide called the Wahoo Gazette a "wry delight"! 8 years ago! And the rest of the network is just coming around now? Don't they read the TV Guide? How about a little credit here? Not so much credit for me, but for Walter and Jay, the Late Show Online Producers whose idea it was to create this Wahoo Gazette. And I will never forgive them for that.

The Wahoo Gazette --- the biggest secret at CBS.
The Late Show --- 9 years ahead of CBS; eons ahead of the other networks.
I'm Neil Armstrong but I'm treated like Michael Collins.

Happy Birthday, Mickey Mantle.




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